Sadly, this summer season has brought us the news of a number of celebrity breakups. Some of these splits have been more or less expected; others, not so much. Not surprisingly, when the separation and impending divorce announcements about these high-profile couples surfaced publicly, the spousal party lines seemed to come from pretty much the same scriptwriter: “ Each of us will now spend time focusing on our children and our careers during this difficult period. And, we are parting as friends.”
Naturally, I’m a champion of “focusing on the needs of the children,” as the little ones seem to suffer most when parents make the decision to break up the family unit. And, “focusing on the work" as a way for each divorcing adult to stay grounded is a very common, and all-consuming, activity at a time of personal transition. It helps us take our minds off the pain, anger and confusion surrounding this major life event. I know, I’ve done everything but reflect on the past when I had to face my own “split ends” situations. I just stopped briefly at the crossroads, looked around, and hastily moved on; my ex took one path and I took the one going in the opposite direction.
Here are my three steps for repairing relationship “split ends”:
1. Look back before rushing ahead. Find out what environmental stresses played a role and what negligent and, perhaps, harsh treatment by each party may have led to your split ends.
2. Take time to nourish and restore yourself when dealing with a split ends situation. Focusing on repairing the damage to yourself will bring you back healthier than before, much more quickly.
3. Go out into the sunshine of life this time with the knowledge and self-awareness that will give you the ability to prevent and protect yourself from facing split ends in the future.
So, if you experience a “split ends” time in your life, don’t just ignore the "reasons why it happened" by focusing on everything but the cause of the situation. Be excruciatingly honest with yourself. Vow to find out the real cause of the split ends, so you never find yourself in that situation again!