Heads You Win, Tails You Lose

Many of us have been dumped by a lover, spouse or employer who then announces,“You’re not good enough” -- to remain in this partnership, or on this team.  Chances are, this has happened to you more times than you care to admit.  And then you've had to deal with feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem and anxiety about what awaits you in the future.  It seems as though that traditional coin-toss exercise  --heads, you win; tails, you lose -- happens when we least need or expect it. 

But wait a moment!  We don’t have to automatically buy into someone's “You’re not good enough” assessment.  That’s only their opinion.  Oftentimes, because other people want to change us into their image of what we should be, they refuse to recognize our intellect, talents or inner or outer beauty because their standards are different from ours.

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where a coin has been flipped and has landed at your feet with the tails side up, ready to crush your dreams, take a moment to reflect on the past.  There may be lessons here to help you navigate and/or avoid relationships or encounters that can lead to future disappointment.   

How about this idea?  Take a coin out of your own pocket and flip it over to the “positive,” or heads, side.  Look at this brand-new opportunity to grow, to try something different by taking bold, inspired action, and to follow your dreams, either by yourself or with your next partner, spouse or employer.  Seize this chance to practice self-love and perhaps, to find a new person who will truly appreciate you for your knowledge, talents and potential contribution to the partnership.

But when you do seek your next partner or employer, make sure to thoroughly vet that person before you make a commitment.   Be sure the person you're thinking of coupling with recognizes your value in a way that will inspire, motivate and challenge you to be the best you can be.  You want that person to truly honor and celebrate your authentic self!

So if you are tempted to buy into that “You’re not good enough” assessment that someone has told you, stop!  Hold your head up high and announce, “Heads, I win”!  On to the next challenge…