On Again and Off Again Relationships

IDA MAE ASTUTE/ABC VIA GETTY IMAGES

IDA MAE ASTUTE/ABC VIA GETTY IMAGES

I happen to be a fan of Katy Perry and John Mayer.  They are cute and I love their music.  As a couple, they perform well together on stage, too.  But, I’m not so sure their performance as a romantic couple will stand the test of time.  Why?  Because, they break up a lot.  Not surprisingly, there are other celebrity couples who behave the same way - Jessica Biehl and Justin Timberlake, to name another pair.   One month they’re gracing the cover of a magazine, the next you are reading the headlines that they’ve gone their separate ways, but are still friends.  Uh huh, right.

We’ve all heard of or have witnessed couples who seem to have those “on again/off again” relationships.  This constant push-pull type of romance makes me wonder what is really going on inside the eye of the tornado.  When things are going well, are they really that good?  And, when the breakups happen and the big reunion follows, I wonder why these couples stay together.  I’m not judging; I just want to know:

-          Is it the thrill of chasing a runaway?

-          Is it the thrill of being the runaway who is being chased…again and again?

-          Is it the exciting, great sex that occurs when the couple reunites?

-          Is it the familiarity of the relationship?  You know all the twists and turns on the roller coaster ride, so you can predict the rise and fall?

-          Is it the promise of better times ahead (along with some material benefits) following the “kiss and makeup” session that keeps one hanging in?

-          Is it better to be with the known (your partner) than the unknown (alone or with a worse partner)?

-          Is it that the drama adds a little extra spice to the already up and down relationship?

Perhaps it is some or all of the above which still makes for an unhealthy relationship.  If a couple doesn’t honestly and openly address the reason for the constant breakups and seek some relationship counseling, they may be in it for the long, unhappy haul.  Who needs the tears, anger, anxiety and battered self-esteem?  It can’t be good for one’s heart or overall mental and physical well-being for that matter, even if you STILL love somebody.  Being addicted to anything isn’t healthy.  I say “kick” the addiction with help or if that doesn’t work, move on!