The Peacemaker Personality #9

As the name suggests, one of the core traits of those possessing the Peacemaker temperament is the desire for harmony. People with this personality will go to the ends of the earth to avoid conflict, minimizing, simplifying or even avoiding problems, as well as going along with others’ opinions, even if they don’t agree, simply to keep the peace.

Peacemakers strive for both internal and external stability and peace of mind. Their most deep-seated fear is one of loss of, or separation from, those they care about, as a result of disharmony or disagreements.

This personality type tends to be easy-going and affable. Peacemakers are one of the most trustworthy temperaments, generous with their support and reassurance, going out of their way to help others see the brighter side of things. Receptive to new ideas and relationships, they have a stable, creative and agreeable presence.

At their best, Peacemakers are connectors, bringing people together by steadfastly resolving conflicts. However, people with this personality can also bury their heads in the sand to avoid situations they find disturbing, upsetting or impossible to resolve quickly and easily.

If they are in this place of avoidance, Peacemakers turn tail and run from challenges by telling themselves these issues “don’t exist,” or by attempting to rise above them by looking for a silver lining as a protection mechanism. They may also seek out simple, painless solutions in an effort to jettison the issue and restore desperately-desired harmony.

Photo credits Kai Stachowiak

Photo credits Kai Stachowiak

Peacemakers long for a spiritual connection with others, and with the universe as a whole. Spirituality creates and nurtures their peace of mind, and the state of internal and external harmony that Peacemakers strive to maintain.  Depending upon the spiritual place a person with this temperament is in, their spirituality can either augment their strengths or provide a placebo for their weaknesses.

Though Peacemakers are firmly grounded in the world around them, as well as in their own physical selves, they don’t necessarily have a concrete sense of identity. Rather, they seem to embody or emulate the other personality types instead of embracing their own unique traits. This lack of a strong personal identity puts Peacemakers on edge. It means they have to constantly assert themselves with other people, a situation they persistently attempt to evade.

Well-known Peacemakers include actresses Geena Davis and Whoopi   Goldberg, actor Morgan Freeman, Queen Elizabeth II, JFK Jr. and Gloria Steinem.

This temperament can persist in denial, checking out and running away from conflict and challenges that they find upsetting, difficult, or can’t resolve. Some use spirituality to generate a false sense of peace to hide behind, while others look for the positive outcome as a way to justify their fear of facing a problem head-on. And still others over or under eat or abuse alcohol and other substances to drive away their loneliness and anxiety or to generate a state of numbness in which conflict just simply doesn’t matter.

To be their best selves, Peacemakers must face reality. They need to accept that life can be difficult, and there will undoubtedly be challenges and conflict along the way. Below are guidelines for Peacemakers to attain personal growth:

·       Have an awareness of, and examine, your tendency to go along with others, doing whatever they want in order to keep the peace. Will constantly acquiescing to the wishes of others provide the kind of relationships that will really satisfy you? It is healthier to be yourself, and to be independent so that you can truly be there for others when they need you.

·       Exert yourself. Pay attention to what is going on, instead of drifting off, tuning out or daydreaming as a means of escape. Focus your attention and become an active participant in the world around you. Be more mentally and emotionally engaged.

·       Recognize feelings of aggression, anxiety, and other emotions with which you must cope. Negative feelings and impulses, which are a part of you, affect you emotionally and physically, whether or not you acknowledge them. Your negative emotions are frequently expressed unconsciously, blocking the peace and harmony you are working so hard to achieve. Get things out in the open by allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings.

·       Examine troubled relationships with partners, spouses, children, and others. Honestly examine how you have contributed to issues within your relationships. The choice is simple: you must often sacrifice your peace of mind (in the short run) for the satisfaction of having genuine relationships (in the long run).

·       Exercise frequently to become more aware of your body and emotions. Regular exercise is a healthy form of self-discipline and will boost awareness of your feelings.  Develop body-awareness; this will teach you to concentrate and focus your attention on other areas of your life. It is also a great way to get in touch with and express your aggressiveness in a healthy manner.