Those possessing the Individualist personality type have a basic desire to find and express themselves and “invent” their identity, which many with this temperament feel they are missing. They wish to surround themselves with beauty, protect their fragile self-image, and maintain very limited emotions that they deem appropriate. Their deepest fear is that they have no personal significance.
Acutely self-aware, these sensitive and emotionally honest people are incredibly creative and inspired. They are able to honestly analyze their motives, emotional conflicts and contradictions without trying to rationalize or deny their behavior to themselves or others. In fact, Individualists frequently share very personal experiences with others in an attempt to discover who they are and come to terms with themselves and their emotional background.
As their name suggests, Individualists see themselves as profoundly different from most everyone and because of this, they also believe that no one can completely understand them or give them adequate affection. Individualists have a heightened awareness of their differences and flaws, and have no issue seeing themselves “warts and all” but they also can spend too much time and energy focusing on these disparities, which leads to a constant feeling of ‘falling short.”
Famous celebrities with the Individualist temperament include Jackie Kennedy Onassis, Marlon Brando, Kate Winslet, Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie.
When a person with this personality type is at their worst, they engage in self-pity, self-indulgence and tend to become extremely despondent and aloof. This withdrawal from others is born from vulnerability and a feeling of inadequacy. Possessing a polar juxtaposition of believing they have unique and special talents, they also are intensely aware of their distinct shortcomings. This often leads to a feeling of distain for and exemption from ordinary ways of life, which results yet again in them turning away from others.
Despite this detached attitude, Individualists want to connect with others. They don’t want to be alone but when people continually fail to provide the understanding and love this temperament desires, they may don a suffering victim persona in which they insist everything be done their way and on their terms. This often further alienates Individualists, perpetuating their feelings of being different.
During different times of their lives, Individualists may ‘try on’ different identities in an attempt to discover themselves. They look for traits they find attractive in others as well as how they feel about those qualities. With a goal of developing an identity founded on stability and reliability, they disregard unwanted emotions for those they desire in determining “who they are.” Because the identities are essentially forced rather authentic, they never really fit. And so the Individualist will discard one in search of another and another.
One of the key things Individualists struggle with is letting go of past feelings. When feeling lesser than or vulnerable, they repeatedly lick their wounds and harbor grudges against those who’ve hurt them. Their deep-seated feelings of pain, longing and disappointment frequently cast a shadow over their ability to see all that they do have in life.
Embrace the best parts of the Individualist temperament by doing the following:
· Avoid paying too much attention to your feelings as a source of support. Your feelings are telling you about where you are in the moment not WHO you are.
· Take on challenges and responsibilities without waiting until you are in the right mindset to cultivate your self-confidence and self-esteem.
· Embrace life and its experiences. Start small and commit to doing something that will bring out the best in you.
· Practice wholesome, healthy self discipline including getting enough sleep, moderating alcohol, work regular hours, etc.
· Avoid lengthy negative, resentful or overly romantic conversations with yourself. Instead of imagining life, start living it.
The Individualists personal honesty and self-awareness can lead to valuable insights as long as they don’t take this analysis to an extreme. By letting go of the past and embracing opportunities to grow and change, Individualists can bolster their self-esteem and discover their authentic selves, further enhancing their incredible creativity and offering a valuable, inspiring, and supportive partner.